Before I write a whole bunch of travel stuff and improv stuff, and a little family stuff, I want to clear up an apparent logical impossibility in my previous entry. I said that sometimes I (irrationally) feel I'm being punished for something "by a God* that doesn't exist."
I'm not really an atheist, but my belief in what could be out there, in here, somewhere, as a Greater Thing Than Man, varies from day to day. My spirituality is fluid - not malleable; that would imply that I'm easily influenced, which I am not when it comes to these matters. There are so many possibilities, and I don't take any one of them as absolutely, perfectly True. The experience of humanity changes from moment to moment - so must, to me, the Implied Beyond.
I can tell you a few things in which I can never, ever believe - starting with the concept of a deity who punishes people who do the best they can under excruciating circumstances. If there's Something, it could not be so cruel as to punish us for our humanity and free will.
I don't believe in absolution through anything but one's own heart and that of someone you've wronged. I don't believe in saviors, whether resurrected or not yet arrived the first time. Neither can I believe that any one group of people is more blessed than another, or that the ownership of a piece of land can be mandated... technically at all, but certainly not by some entity that does not make its intentions known to all concerned parties.
I believe in Good and Evil in terms of human behavior. Helping people is good. Selfishness is evil. Joy is good. Deliberately causing pain to others is evil. Nobody is 100% one or the other. Getting things off your chest isn't evil, even though it can be unpleasant. Empathy is good.
It would be comforting to believe that people who live by malice and greed, yet evade repercussion in the human realm, might be punished on a greater level - whether by flames and demonic torture, or reincarnation as a dung beetle - but I just don't see the evidence for it. Besides, a dung beetle doesn't see its quality of life as lacking.
I think it's outstandingly arrogant of humans to assume that there's a god with the same kind of consciousness that we have, or any kind of a plan around which we can wrap our puny minds. No, no. G-d does not speak the language in which you pray. G-d didn't write the rules by which you live. Those are human constructs. They may work, but they are not Divine.
At the same time, humans do seem to have a hard-wired instinct for wanting Something Greater. So when a conscious G-d exists for me, She/He is a scientist (and a hermaphrodite). Earth is a petri dish, and our duty is to follow the truth of our experience, push for further discovery of our own capacities, and make our report with accuracy.
*Style Note: When I'm feeling particularly connected to my Jewish heritage, I follow the convention of not spelling the G-word. It gets typed or written "G-d" in secular contexts and on pieces of paper likely to be discarded. There have been huge debates on the appropriateness of spelling out various Names in electronic media.
Monday, July 6, 2009
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3 comments:
Your thoughts on this matter are quite similar to my own.
I can no more say there is a god than to say there isn't one. I can only observe and do my best to draw thoughtful conclusions.
For example, I don't know whether a higher being exists, but I am secure in believing that if one does exist s/he does not punish or reward people. Bad things happen to good people and vice versa. We all see it, and the whole "mysterious ways" mantra is a cop-out.
My punishment/reward belief extends to the afterlife. I feel heaven and hell are human inventions to satiate the innately human desire to see other people get what they feel those other people deserve.
At any rate, I enjoy reading others' thoughful explorations of their spirituality. If anything, it's reassuring that there are other people who don't accept these things at face value out of fear, ignorance, or inertia.
I'm guessing you (and possibly some of your readers) are already well aware of my stance on [insert deity here]. If not, then please allow me to explain because it's quite simple actually. I can no more prove the existence of [insert deity here] than I can disprove it. I have yet to find someone who can conclusively do so either way. So, for those of you out that that swear you can, by all means step up to the plate and take a swing.
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